I'm craving a plate of PASTAMANIA's Penne Cabonara .
Frankly, it's so delicious!

Happy father's day to my late father, atok, uncle and to all fathers in the world. God gave me the greatest gift I ever had. And i heart you. :]

Two weeks ago, I was crying because nenek passed away. Tonight I’m crying again because I miss her so badly! And the thing that makes me even sad is I unable to visit atok this week because of some circumstance. Last week (a week after late nenek passed away), atok asked me whether I’m coming to visit him this weekend. And I answered YES. He said, "Datang la sini (atok's home), atok boring, takde orang nak berbual. Boring tengok TV. Bukan boleh berbual dengan TV tu. Kalau Ina datang, atok boleh berbual. Happy". When he said like that to me at that time my heart was so touching. Then, I said I will come to visit him but this week, I didn’t come to visit him. That's why I feel sad right now. It seems like he feel so alone and lonely after nenek passed away. All these years he has been together with nenek for 54 years. They did things together but suddenly when your love one gone, you feel lost. And I guess, that is how atok feel. I hope I will meet atok sooner and sleep at his place too.

Nenek is resting in peace on 7/6/2009 (Sunday) at the age of 76. See the number...what a coincidence. I’ve received a call from my aunty and she said nenek just passed away. I was so speechless. I lost another vital part of my life. As per normal human being’s behavior, I was tearing. I never thought that Friday night was our last smile. I managed to see her in conscious condition. I never regret of anything because my entire wish and pray all these years had been granted by Allah. Nenek always wants me to study hard and graduate from university, get a good job and don’t get marry too young & early. Hehehe. She’s always advised me to take care of mak, always pray to Allah, always finish your meal and etc. Actually, 2 weeks before she passed away, I’ve been dreamt of her. In my dream, I saw nenek, she was lying numb on the bed and been surrounded by people – those people recite Yassin to her. I was crying in my dream and then I woke up and told my mum about my dream. But mum said it’s nothing. Just pray for the best. Though, I never thought that my dream came true. It’s ok then; now nenek is in some place I’d like to call heaven. I’m so glad that she able to witness my accomplishments and those achievements are for nenek. She’s the best & always being the best nenek I’m proudly to say! I still couldn't get over with the fact that she's gone forever. It’s hard to let her go and last year was the last Hari Raya celebration with her. This year Hari Raya won’t be the same. I gonna miss all those moments with her. She been took care of me when I was still a baby, toddler and kid. I oftenly visited nenek and atok during my school holiday and semester break. I miss kissing her both cheek and then she always made funny faces… hehehe. Dear Nenek, I always pray for you. I will find you when I enter the heaven. I don’t want a new family when I get into the heaven. I just want my own family like in this world.

ushhhhh...this is a very dramatic week for me.
I’m pleased with the convocation, my first job and my two best friends' engagements. But the sad thing is nenek been admitted to the Changi Hospital. I've never seen nenek in such condition. On the first day I came to visit her (Thursday), she was so breathless. She was crying and a bit howling. I really understand how the feel of gasping because it’s likes being attack with asthma, which you can’t breathe easily. I was tearing because I've seen her in such condition. At that time, I beg to God to shift nenek’s pain to me because I can’t bear to see her like that. She’s so restless. Then, the next day (Friday), after work, I’m straight away gone to Singapore with my mum to visit nenek again. Now, nenek is supervised under MICU. All those machines and wires and needles are everywhere, surrounding & pinch into her body, I’m so heartrending. At that time (friday), nenek still conscious. I’m stroking her hand and I advised her to recite the name of Allah in her heart. I still can see she’s smiling back at me. That was nenek’s last expression when I left the ICU. Hopefully nenek recover soon. My week is quiet hectic.

I’m so thrilled with my graduation’s day. I got a chance to meet my dearly friends, dearly close friends. I’ve received cutest gifts from family and friends. They’re so special to me. Btw, I came quiet late during my graduation’s day and I didn’t have a chance to seat in the same row with my friends, which I had to seat at the back of the hall. Quiet sad la but it is ok. The best part is, my mum managed to seat in the same hall as me even we’re late. It means her able to witness me receiving the credential on the stage of Dewan Sri Budiman, UiTM Shah Alam. Dear family, thanks for everything. I can’t wait to show nenek and atok my graduation’s photos. :]