What i was thinking along my way from KTM Kuala Lumpur to Puduraya is
"Why am i here? and What makes me born in this world?"
I just dont know what the purpose of me living in this world.
I just walked and i was unconscious & I don't know why am i walking towards Puduraya and i felt lost. Yes, the word LOST is the term that accurately described my feeling/mind at that time.
I have live in this world for almost 24 years but im empty.
I lost my dad when i was 13 years old. I wasn't by his side when he died.
I didn't went to his funeral instead i went to school like nothing happened.
I can still smile in front of my friends and i didn't told them that my dad has gone.
im WEIRD! (maybe i can't accept the fact that he was gone.)
But then, when i'm alone... I cried out loud...All my sorrows were tearing out and then i fallen into sleep. That when i was 13 years old.

During my toddler stage...I'd less seen my dad. I'd less spent my time with him.
I didn't know where he went, what he did, why he wasn't with me??
Lotsa questions were questioning myself. I don't have answers for those questions.
But what i knew was, I'd pray to God Lord above to bond my parents together again. Make us stay together and live happily ever after like a fairytale end.
But my prays were never came true because dad passed away.
i felt empty and lost. Dad wasn't on earth anymore. He'd left me alone with two brothers and a mum. Maybe, cat as well (i can't remember)
At that time, I didn't know what to do with my mum, even worst... I hate my mum...
Ohhh..that was the hardest part. Can you believe me?
I hate my mum because my dad was passed away. I'd blame her for the lost of my dad.
I didn't want to share anything with her. For me, she the reason I'm lost.

However, as years passing by... I've learned and accepted her presence in my life.
Even I've accepted her in my life, sometimes we've argues, we've fights and sometimes she makes me smile. That my mum.
Now, I love her so much even though sometimes, she's trying to control my future and my life.
I don't like my future to be control because I've planned.
Yes, I've planned "things" in my life. And i prefer to keep it secret within me.
I hope "things" come true before i depart from this earth.

By the way mum, thanks for being the opposite one in my life.
I've learned a lot from you. You've taught me to be extraordinary and different from others.
I salute and cherish you, You face your life with faith, dignity even sometimes a lil bit fake...and you've get

through it.
You don't care what people say about you because you know yourself so well and know what is the best for you. And i hardly beg and praise to God that God will add up your agefor another 100 years...
so that i can die together with you. I don't want to live in this world alone.