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I never had the chance to tell you how much I loved you until I sat by your bed side stroking your brow like you use to do when I was little.
I wiped the sweat from your brow, and the tears from your eyes.
I often wondered how you felt when you realized that you weren't going to make it.
The way you opened your eyes and saw us crying over you.
How frightened you must have been. I wish I would have taken that feeling from you,
like the way you use to do for me when I was afraid of facing my fears.
I never was the type of person to hug and kiss you dad.
I wish I could have done it more.

I have to face that bitter truth, the one I dreaded, but knew I would have to face.
You have left me. You are gone. The most important man in my life, my father.
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you died.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so very sorry.
I'm sorry I lost you.
I'm sorry I don't have you with me.

Who is going to tell me when I'm doing it wrong and give me guidance?
Who is going to protect me, when I need protection?
Who is going to love me in the same unselfish, and unconditional way that you did?
I want you back dad. I want you here with me. I want you to tell me what to do.
I want that hug that you would give me and told me everything would be O.K.,
even though neither you nor I knew what would happen.
I want your smiling face, deep voice of reassurance, your hug, your touch, your love.

I've tried talking to you, but you don't answer.
When I pray to God, I get a warm fuzzy, so I know God is listening,
but when I pray to talk to you, I get cut off, and everything is cold.
Are you there?
Do you still love me dad? Do you remember me?

I want to spend time with you, be with you, talk to you, have fun with you,
be able to have you tell me the wise thing to do.
How do I go on without you?
I miss you so much dad.
I don't want you to be dead; I want you here with me.
I wish you could come home. I really wish you could come home.

I love you dad.
i just want you. You are the only man that i need until my last breath.
These days it has been torture. I have been hiding my feelings of sorrow, aching pain, and grief.
I can't cry. You always knew that I was the strong one.

Labels: lost love, your innocent naive daughter